It's a Monster

 Anxiety is the monster that hides in your closet.

Yes, you know it's there 

but you know it won't attack until you stop expecting it

until you are weak 

until you are vulnerable.

Positive thinking is the flickering of a trick candle

never knowing when it will finally go dim. 

You don't want it to

but you aren't in control.

Anxiety is the knowledge of all that could go wrong

but it won't-

That's what the naive will tell you. 

Anxiety is knowing you're at a breaking point 

but not knowing how long you can stand there.

Hours?

Days?

Weeks?

Months?

Everyone finds out at the same time you do. 

Anxiety is the "everything's great" smile in the hall

when things are scary inside. 

It's the "I've got this"'

as you try to convince both sides of the mirror.

Anxiety is the success of hearing about your confidence

knowing you won the acting game. 

It's being just a tad too self-aware.

It's being laughed at-

This came out of nowhere-

when you didn't plan on breaking either. 

It's fake "I'm there for you"s

met with ignorance when you hold them to their word.

It's "You're not the first"

when you didn't want the attention anyway.

It's holding yourself to perfection and watching it crumble. 

Anxiety doesn't take an easy route

or anything predictable. 

It just punches and steals and destroys. 

It's a monster only you can see

It's a monster repeating lies in just one ear. 

It's a monster who only comes out to play when it knows it can win.