Single, not ready to mingle

I realized recently that I have broken the family tradition.

At 21, I am the first in several generations to not be married yet.

High school sweethearts run in my family. My grandma and grandpa, my parents, but not me.

Let's be real here, we all know by now that I got dumped. And yes it hurt. Like hell, actually.

But, here's the deal.

I'm okay. I still have random flashbacks that will make me cry and I wonder if my ex-boyfriend and I will ever be true friends or if that was just what we were supposed to say that night.

Contrary to most of my friends' advice, we have talked. I have seen him on occasion in group settings. We even had thought about getting coffee one on one over break. But that didn't happen. It's probably for the better.

It has been a little under four months since the break-up. Four months since my world changed. We were together for almost two years and I personally saw a lot more of a future for us.

But, the thing is, that's okay.

What's not okay is how many people have decided to tell me what to do now.

I have been told that I should remove my purity ring, change my values or at least flirt with more guys.

Well, I can tell you that I am not the flirtiest person but when the right guy comes around, he'll know. I think I am a decent flirter, so nothing should be confusing.

That also means that this is not the boat I am in just yet.

Right now, I know I am not ready to flirt, go out with or start a new relationship with a new guy.

And it's driving me crazy that I feel bad about this.

It's actually to whoever the new guy is's convenience. I can promise you, new man, that you do not want into my life as I am still comparing each and every thing about you to the last love of my life. It's not fair to you and will leave both of us disappointed.

Right now, I want to have fun. I want to get to know the Christa who isn't in a relationship. I haven't seen her in a while.

My goal? I want to ace my classes this semester and get my beach body into shape before I go to the Dominican Republic this summer.

While this should keep me plenty busy, I also have my one, petty goal of having a guy buy me a drink at a bar eventually. But, that means I need to go out and not stay in bed or doing homework every weekend. What a sacrifice.