Slip and Try Not to Slide

 I can feel the slip. 

I feel it in my chest. 

I feel it in my head. 

I feel the slip 

when I get mean.

I feel the slip 

when I lose all interest.

I feel the slip

when I snap back.

I feel the slip

I recognize the slip

I cannot control the slip.

I feel the slip 

when coworkers are too much

when customers are too much 

when my schedule is too much

when boys are too much 

when everything is too much.

But nothing is too much.

Everything is the same as it was yesterday.

Everything will be the same tomorrow.

And then it's just enough.

But as I slip, 

it's too much. 

Inside I know I can carry it.

A shallow thought says that's a lie.

Dig deeper, there is hope. 

It is not too much.

It is a slip.

Slips hurt.

They scrape.

They bleed.

They take others down with me.

But we will be okay.

Slipping is allowed.

Sliding is not.

My Demon's Name is Lonely

 My demon's name is Lonely.

He only comes out to play when it hurts the most.

Lonely reminds me of all my flaws. 

All the reasons people may dislike me. 

All the people who have fallen away.

My demon's name is Lonely 

and he's quite the attention whore. 

Lonely whispers in my ear 

but it's never things I like to hear.

I've heard these things before-

Lonely likes to repeat himself. 

But that doesn't make it hurt less.

My demon's name is Lonely

and he's honestly quite rude.

He treats me like a child with an awful attitude.

My demon makes me mean

he makes me hurt my friends.

My demon takes me to the dark

which I never knew was a where 

and not a what. 

My demon's name is Lonely

but I know he's not in charge.

My demon's name is Lonely

but my savior's name is Friend.